On Disappointment

One of the hardest things in life is dealing with disappointing, whether you were the one being disappointed or you disappointed others. The greatest sadness though is when you disappoint yourself. People often get so overwhelmed by this that they slip into depression or even commit suicide.

Life happens, that's reality. Instead of trying to avoid disappointment you should know how to deal it and how to move from it quickly. Whether you have delayed dreams, false hopes or failed relationships, you need to pick yourself and move on. Easier said than done right? Right.

The thing about disappointing yourself is that you need to go through the emotions of failing you. Being failed by another is painful but atleast you can always count on you to comfort, love and nurse yourself back to recovery. When you are own worst enemy things don't work out, you are constantly caught between beating yourself up and being your worst critic and trying to encourage yourself and lift yourself up. We all know that your weight is heavier than that of others.

At that crucial moment of having to choose, choose well. Choose to be better, to be stronger, to be wiser. Be like David, who when was defeated, encouraged himself in the LORD.

Dear Single Lady

Desperation is so smelly, you can smell it from miles away. Singleness can be so much fun, it can also be depressing and have you asking deep kweshions about life. When it does get to the depressing stage, never make the mistake of showing it to the world. You don't wanna be that girl that dated and flirted with everyone before you "eventually" get married. Stop holaring at brother when you are sad, stop writing on their walls or commenting on his every status to make yourself seen.

You need to know your worth. You need to re-evaluate your life and do some stock take and know your worth. When women know their worth, they are powerful but most importantly they don't settle for anything else than what they KNOW they deserve. You have to know the kind of man who is worth your time and effort. Life's loneliness and biological clock cannot have you taking any guy because he's a "genuinly good guy". Remember that the decision you make now is one you will live with for the rest of your life and that's a long time, unless ofcourse you get a divorce.

Again, have a meeting with yourself and think about the kind of man you deserve and don't feel bad or guilty about it. Also, think about the kind of woman you are that deserves to be loved and chosen by the kind of man you are thinking of. Better yourself while you wait for that man, there are amazing men out there. There really are.

Five things I think every woman should do to better themselves before marriage:

1. Have an intimate relationship with GOD
2. Get a qualification
3. Learn to cook GOOD good
4. Get a stable job
5. Have financial discipline

If marriage comes before any or all of these things then hey sis, we'll come and get down at your wedding but if you aren't married then girl get your miiiiiiiiiind right and become an asset to yourself and everyone around you. Become an all-rounder. Become the kind of woman your husband will be proud to introduce in EVERY sphere of his life.

Miss All Rounder

I believe in the power and influence of women. I believe in women being power houses. I believe that women have the power to be all rounders, to be good at whatever they do. Every woman should define what her "all" is and work at becoming excellent at that. A married woman with 2 kids and one who is unmarried have a different "all". The first should excel at being a wife and mother and everything while the second should excel at everything else she has chosen. The "all" of a married woman includes a husband while the "all" of an unmarried woman does not. First figure out what your "all" is and stop putting pressure on yourself to excel at things that don't exist.

Women are often very jealous of each other and become insecure because of what the other has. You can compete on things that are not the same, Bafana Bafana can never compete against the Proteas, different game, different rules, different league. Women should stop comparing themselves to other women, their stories and journeys are not the same. As women, we should be challenged by ourselves and becoming the best versions of ourselves. The only person we are in competition with is the individual that we are.

In the quest to becoming the best version of yourself, draw up a life plan. See where you are now, where you want to be and challenge yourself based on that. Do a stock take of your life. Re-evaluate your strenghts and dreams, your weaknesses and challenges. Once you have done that, think about what your "all" is. What is it exactly that you want to excel in. How is your future you looking? What does she like? What does she tolerate? How does she smell like? What's her fashion sense? Is she married? If that's the case, to who? What does she drive? Where does she stay? Do you like that woman? Does she inspire you? She should, if she doesn't them you have the wrong woman, you perhaps have the woman people want you to be. Dream and think about the woman YOU want to become and once you have her, without a shadow of doubt, let her inspire you.

Work towards becoming that woman, wake up everyday and think about not disappointing her. If she smells really good, go out there and buy yourself some good purfume, you'll be one step closer to being like her. If she is an amazing cook and you hardly cook then go out there and buy yourself recipe books. Do something, anything but take a step closer to becoming that woman you envision. Don't be sad if the first dish turns out bad, you are a work in progress, do it over and over and over again until you get it right, not just that, until you perfect it, so much so that you can't get it wrong.

Be your own mentor, let the woman you envision mentor the woman you are now. Let your future self mentor you into being the amazing person you want to become. Find woman who are similar to your future self and ask them how they did. There is power in hooking up with other power houses. Somethings don't come naturally, not to all of us but you know what they say "hard work always beats talent when talent doesn't work hard". If your future self is the CEO of her own company, then go on and register and work hard to become that.

Be bold enough to pursue your dreams. Tough enough to face rejection. Easy enough to try new things. Be happy, be you. Inspire You.