Those who know me would also know that I
am not a fan of affection- not hugging, not touching, not anything. Working
with kids however has has changed that (a bit). I have had to get used to
forced hugs and random visits which have now turned into everyday visits. I
have had to learn to share my space like never before and this was a tad
difficult for me because I really love my space. I have also learned the impact
you can make in a young girl's life, not only through words but action as well.
We have all heard that kids learn by actions than words so I really hope that
my actions will tell of all the sermons and values I would have spent years
teaching them. One particular lesson I really hope they have learned is how to
love their bodies- flaws and all.
I have two nieces- Masego and Kamogelo.
For the first time this year, I noticed how they study my body when I take a
bath. They would want to come and sit with me while I bath and while this may
be a "private" moment for some, I saw it as a great opportunity to
let them look at themselves in the mirror. Kamogelo is bold and more vocal so
she goes ahead and asks "Mmamane Thembi, ke eng se?" pointing to my
breasts. Her intrigue and investigative eyes let me know that she didn't quite
understand how she would grow up to also have them. Having my nieces present
when I bath gives me hope that they will be happy with their bodies as they
grow up- whichever way they turn out. In a society that promotes being a
size 0 or having big bums and boobs, I hope that they remember those moments in
the bath and know that Mmmane Thembi wasn't like that so its ohkay not to look
like the girl on the magazine (and we know what they say about her).
Working with teenagers reminded me of the
insecurities that we have as women and it is saddening that they take root at a
very young age. A month ago we were shocked when a grade 2 child started
throwing up after meals because she wanted to "lose weight". So
whenever I come from showering and there are girls in waiting for me in my room
I go ahead and change in front of them. I go ahead and put on my bio oil and
gentle magic so that they know that stretch marks are a real experience and
that there is nothing wrong with them for having stretch marks. Most girls even
feel embarrassed for having their periods. I became proud and loving my body
after seeing my mom loving hers so much- flaws and all. I used to wish that GOD
would have given me a body just like hers and when I used to tell her she used
to go on to praise my body, and her compliments and confidence rubbed off on
me. Everytime I put on a pair of jeans, my mom is the first to sing my praises.
If then you are an aunt, a sister, a mom,
a stooge, a friend, let your life empower and encourage those of women around
you and most importantly the next generation of beautiful and secure young
women. In a society that preaches worldly perfection, let your life be a true
reflection of beauty. Let it be the mirror in which they see themselves in.
